What is scarier than messing with very strict Christian parents?; Messing with strict NIGERIAN Christian parents. These people don’t ‘play’. I grew up under one and reminiscing my teenage years with them, I couldn’t help but highlight some of my experiences. These are inspired by random stories, personal experience and some hyperbolic scenarios. But every child who grew up under one like I did can relate to the following scenarios.
1. When they tell you, there is a ‘6 to 6’ fast.
2. When your Dad declares he’s extending morning devotion from an hour to 1 hour 30 minutes.
3. When they ask you to come and sing a ‘Special number’ in church.
………(You just have to nail it!)
4. When you slept at 4 a.m and morning devotion is by 5 a.m.
5. When they say “I believe I can fly” is the devil’s song.
6. When you tell them you are sick on Sunday morning and they let you stay home.
7. When they say you should tell the truth because it will set you free.
…..I ‘jump am-pass’!
8.When they see a tattoo on your hand…..
….and couldn’t wait for you to explain it’s a fake one from a chewing gum wrapper.
9. When you step out in a skirt with a decent length and they still say it’s too short.
10. When they ask you to raise a chorus, and you sing “Praising da Lord…always” for the fourth time….
……..cos that’s your go-to song anytime you are stuck.
11. When they ask you about the ‘Memory verse’ in church and you can’t answer.
12. When you are needed to explain why you didn’t ‘fall under the anointing’ when others ‘fell’.
13. What you think about your Make up. #flawless
14. What they think about your Make up. #wompwompwomp
15. Just when you are set to go and they decide to stay back another hour for a meeting, after 5 hours in church.
16. When they see you talking to a guy….
17. …But they expect a man to (fall from the sky and…) marry you.
If you feel me, let me hear you shout “Ohon Ohon”!!! Did I leave out any? Please add some !
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