- Corrupt Politicians: The politician who comes, steals, kills and destroys! Overrated yet mentally unprepared. The sweat of hard working citizens that is supposed to be rewarded with good salaries, is being rewarded with hardship because one selfish politician decides to enrich his generation with stolen money. All ye politicians, wherever you are hiding, on the land, in the air, under the sea…..Holy Ghhhhoooosssst…….! May all your looted money turn to counterfeit. Amen!
- The Destiny Blocker: The young lad who dates and engages a lass for too long. He neither commits nor let go. The poor chick shows her loyalty by being faithful to him, he shows his loyalty by being a stumbling block for her. Pssst, hello Sista, Ruuuuunnn!
- The Strange woman: Hey, Karishika! How market today? You are fully aware he is married and has a wife who goes all out to look good and keep her man, but you decide to always show up where he is (by accident ), wearing your Christmas dress and looking all perfect so that he will fall. On behalf of all the married women, Thunder faya you and your Christmas dress!
- Dear Seed sower: Somewhere out there, a couple is praying fervently for a child while you, the ‘Freelance Seed sower’ decide to test rampantly if your seed is working. It’s working well…alright, news has it that You have become father of many nations. Harllerluryar! Now go, pay child support which obviously You can’t.
- Serendipity …or not?: You dress to kill, make up on fleek. You come out slaying in your ride and not even a single soul recognises you. Another day, You rush out of the house unkempt and suddenly there is a friggin’ reunion of a lifetime of friends. Suddenly, everyone who knows you seems to spot You. Hayyy, God!!!If You ever find yourself in such situation, just tell them your cat died. This is not serendipity, it’s more like…. “Seren..dip…sh*t!
- The Rich Pauper: Oga! You are a rich dude who’s got a fat account but decide to frustrate a groundnut seller with a ruthless unrealistic bargain. You ask for ‘test/ taste’ and complain it is little and so you ask for more ‘test/taste’. You then contemplate whether or not you need to buy. You finally make up your mind to buy but delay in bringing out money. Are you Arsene Wenger? Bring out money and
buy players!pay the groundnut seller!…and better leave them with the change.
- Frenemy:We hurriedly return from buying ‘Bole and fish’ , so eager to unravel the masterpiece meal. We get eating, suddenly my attention’s needed outside for a few seconds. I return and realize you have eaten the whole fish. You are wicked! You can kill. The devil is probably afraid of you for this hideous crime. Just take your own firewood and go and make your own hell fire. Gademit!!!
Hey, lovely people! How was church today? Hope you danced well and put a fat offering?! What did they teach in Church today? *cricket noise* You have forgotten!…Okay!……I just want to wish you a lovely week ahead. Like my best friend, Ellen Degeneres always says, “BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER!”. Stay blessed and have a lovely week.
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