LIFESTYLE,MUSINGS AND PEP TALK,PARENTING

Help!!! We’ve Got Company In Our Bed!

Let me just say here, THANK GOD that I’ve never heard any story that says a teenage child sleeps in their parents’ bed. Yeah, you guessed right. My topic is about my kids trying to ‘put asunder’ by always sharing our bed. My first child will be turning 4 by the end of the year and I was thinking if  that age wasn’t ripe enough to start sleeping in her own bed. You know Parenting has no manual. Yes, there are some socially right and wrong ways of handling kids but indepthly, there is a lot of grey areas. I’ve met parents who think kids shouldn’t even dare to be in bed with parents, no matter how little they are. There are those who think, sharing their bed with their little one is part of bonding and security for the child. There are some who think there should be a balance.

I was one of those Moms who visualized a separate nursery for her new born. I chose the colours, the inscription, the cot design etc. With plans of using a baby monitor to keep me connected to the baby. Then the baby arrived and all that were tossed out of my mind. First, it was so much hard work being sleep-deprived and leaving the ‘other room’ to baby’s room. So, we moved the cot to our room. That too was a hassle. Trust me, the last thing a new nursing Mom needs is the need to leave her bed. So baby Aliyah had a spot in our bed. That eased breastfeeding, diaper changes and my ridiculous hushing techniques. I had read about how dangerous it is with babies sleeping with parents but I knew I could be extra cautious not to roll over the baby. Atleast, I and hubby aren’t WWE sleepers. She got used to it. I got used to it. She goes as far as needing to be cuddled before she sleeps. I won’t lie, I loved that most of the time. I think I’m going to be that ’embarrassing Mom’ who would want to hug, kiss and yell loudly “I love you” to her teenagers in front of their dorm. I can be fond  like that. However, now I’m needing that space again. In quest of getting a solution for This, I stumbled on a British programme “Super Nanny”. She told a parent who was in same position as me to start a strict rule and enforce it. How was she going to enforce It? She was adviced to take her two toddlers to their room and put them in bed without eye contact (to detach herself emotionally). As there will be an obvious resistance, she needs to sit on the floor and keep taking them back to bed without eye contact until the kids get tired and give up and sleep off in their beds. That sounded so exhausting. I cringed watching the hidden cameras highlight how this parent went on and on, picking them up with their tantrums and dropping them in bed, they jump out and she does that over and over again, for like 3 hours. It was exhausting to watch but the parent won. The kids did same thing the next day but by the third day, they went to their room and slept in their bed. Wow!

I don’t think I want to go through all of what Super Nanny put that parent but parents who have succeeded in this, how did you do It?

Another reason we welcomed our kids to our bed is just the fact that one can’t see any trouble easily in their room and act fast enough but when they are in bed with you, At least you can protect them the very best you can. Also, I remember me not being able sleep on my own as a child. Who would? After watching “Willi Willi” in my time, which child would want to sleep alone? Kids can always have a fear for some ‘monster’. A toilet flushing and making a roar can scare a toddler. So these things I considered and kept them with us. Well now, we need some little room. So is it right or wrong to let them be on their own at this age? If you are against kids having their own room so early, At what age do you start looking at them sleeping on their own?

 

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Chizo
    August 23, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    Thanks for the write up: I still get racked with guilt and always tell them to come to our room if they are scared or can’t sleep by themselves.
    It is always a balance. My older child is not inclined to take the offer but occasionally comes to our room in such emergencies.
    The younger, more often or at times, wails from room, waking everybody up and eventually getting her way 😂

    • Reply
      Bubu
      August 24, 2017 at 1:59 am

      Hahaha. Seeee! That’s the thing. If you keep them in a different room and situations like this come up, you just work everyone up. Thanks Chi, for your awesome comment.

  • Reply
    Precious @ Precious Core
    August 27, 2017 at 4:05 am

    All my kids sleep on their own. Sometimes the younger girls need my attention at night but for the most part they are on their own. I believe we parents need that space to rest. If I were in your shoes, I would try the Super Nanny tactic. It may be hard but if it works in the end, then all good. Hope you find a way around this, dear.

  • Reply
    Bubu
    August 28, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    Wow! How did you do it? I don’t think I want to follow Super Nanny’s way. Your girls are a bit grown so when did you start enforcing That?

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