Port Harcourt Girl In Lagos ( My Story)

Lagos na wa!” were the words that kept ringing in my head as I observed the 360 degree swift lifestyle of Lagosians. Totally different from what I, as a potaikot babe is used to. I was born and bred in Port Harcourt. I have visited Lagos a couple of times but I’m always a recluse. I only hear things like “Molue does not stop for passengers, you have to hop in while moving”. I thought to myself that’s crazy. I hear about how fast-paced the city is. This time my visit was different. It was more intentional, to see the city and mehhnn, did I see! Here is my personal take on the place. (I was sooo living the moment. Too engrossed to even take pictures).

  • First of all, I want to ask.  How do relationships thrive in Lagos? Everywhere is far. Every cab man has been anointed to call fares in thousands. I kept freaking out with the cab fare until it became normal. I didn’t test my bargaining strength anymore because there was no use. So how do you sustain a relationship between someone living in Victoria Island and partner living on the Mainland. This is borderline *pun intended* long distance relationship. Cab fares and toll gate fees should be taken into deep consideration before investing into such relationship. Anyway, with this high cost, the girlfriend has a valid reason to just move in with her boyfriend to save cost.
  • I looked forward to seeing some friends and even delivering something to one of them but the recipient  was on one end of Lagos and I was on the other end. Delivery of that item became a prayer point for wisdom. And wisdom said I have to go to Port Harcourt and send it as a courier because it’s cheaper and less stressful. Can you beat that?  This can only happen in Lagos. The place big ehhhh. I tell you. This was my second attempt to meet her up for an exchange of goods. How can I pay 3500 Naira to a place and 3500 Naira back just to get something that is 5000 Naira. Wisdom is profitable to direct so I directed myself to Port Harcourt. Harllerluryar!
  • The city is so yoruba-centric. The Niger Deltans call it “mgbaati-mgbaati” (Don’t know what that means but if na curse, noh ves). The Ibos are pretty predominant here as well. I was already unleashing my Yoruba spirit out to call names the Yoruba way like Ademola Adetokunbo Street, Surulere, Adeniran Ogunsanya  and Fo-re-sho-re! Not until I told myself that that was actually ‘Foreshore’ Street.
  • Everyone is on 100km/hr and this is within the city districts, how much more driving in the outskirts. I came out from Lekki as early as 5.30 am for an appointment and saw the ‘Fast and Furious’ movie on set at Lekki roundabouts. I told a Lagosian how early I had been and she asked, “Early?!! Early here is 4 am.” I do not understand the speed here. Even in gridlock traffic, when there’s just a small distance to move, it’s on top speed. Driving normally at 60km/hr (which is my own  high speed) in Lagos would seem like your car is faulty. To really confirm I wasn’t insane with my observation, I stretched over and looked at the cab man’s speedometer and voila, their was no gauge. He’s on top speed and he doesn’t know how fast he’s going. *crucifix sign*
  • One I’m yet to conclude on is the demeanor of some hustlers here. Correct me if I’m wrong but most of the people who at a point in time rendered me ‘help’, asked for ridiculous amounts of fees in the end. They actually go all out to aid you and in your heart, you’re thanking Jesus for bringing help your way, only to hear “Madam this  parking, na 1k“. They lure you with an over-the-top service even when you don’t ask, then rigidly ask for their fee. Thinking of an escape route? Do you speak Yoruba to salvage the situation? No?!!! Oya pay the money, J.J.C!*In my Yoruba accent*
  • Honestly, Lagos is a beautiful city. I wish other states, one state in particular *mouth sealed* would just transform like this. The Ikoyi- Lekki bridge that is a spectacular landmark is now being used in almost every Nigerian Movie or TV series. They should start charging fees for that. That was a job well done. The surrounding  water bring life to the place, while somewhere in the South, water is being sandfilled for more structures. I had little time to visit the beach(es) but I saw enough to conclude that it is truly a cool place to live in.
  • I attempted to step into Balogun market. It felt like a camel passing through the eye of a needle. So I passed by instead. My Ibo brothers, I hail. The Ibos entrepreneurial spirit made me spot them everywhere I turn. Several times I mistook them for Yorubas until they said they are Ibos. They have been soaked in Yoruba language. PS: Seeing this picture I notice “Idumota” written on the signpost. Is Balogun market in Idumota or this man carried me to a different market?

Now I see why most Lagosians say they can’t live anywhere else but Lagos. The Lifestyle here is addictive. Nightlife is a no-no for me for now because of my nuptial knot with poops and diapers but I hear the nightlife here is awesome. Plus you get to bump into local celebrities to take selfies with you to epp your instagram ministry. Some Lagosians feel this ecstatic towards Abuja because it’s more “sane” but I think Lagos is a place to be.What do you think? 

Ever been in relationship where it had to suffer because of your locations?

What was your candid first experience like in Lagos?

What do you like best about Lagos?

People of Pitakwa, do you share same or different view?

By the way, it just felt good to  breathe some blacksoot-free air for a change. Rivers State, How fa?!

It’s  March already! Yaaass! I remember how January had 65 days in it. Happy New Month, people!



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  • Reply
    March 2, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    Awesome!!!! Fun too…..

    • Reply
      March 2, 2017 at 4:10 pm


  • Reply
    March 2, 2017 at 5:59 pm

    Very very funny(especially that part about small spaces in traffic and they are still going 60km/hr) as I’m in lagos right now, I was dizzy in the cab ride to the hotel, na wa! As for me I can’t live here, Abuja is better for me

    • Reply
      March 3, 2017 at 4:51 am

      Oh dear. It feels good to know I’m not insane. Have a lovely stay, babe

  • Reply
    March 2, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    And that’s how I am currently in Lagos ! With Furo ! Weekend getaway ! No kids no husbands lol

    • Reply
      March 3, 2017 at 4:53 am

      Oh dear! You two?!!! I’m so envious right now. Hayyy God! It is well. Enjoy every bit, my love.

  • Reply
    March 4, 2017 at 5:35 am

    Nice piece. Thot I ws all alone in my ‘Lagos dread’…loving ur humour.u go gurl

    • Reply
      March 4, 2017 at 1:10 pm

      Oh dear, you are not alone. *In MJ’s voice*

  • Reply
    Jessica Hugo
    March 7, 2017 at 9:19 am

    Bubu ehh! I was also born & bred in the garden city of pitakwa. my first visit eh, kai! The only tin I love about Lagos is that it is d entertainment hub of the nation but omoh, I doubt if I can fit it.

    • Reply
      March 11, 2017 at 9:13 pm

      My dear. You’d be spoilt for choice when it comes to entertainment in Lagos. In ph, we’ve had enough of SPAR,maybe I’d take you to Tourist beach. Hahaha. You know that’s a dead end right.

  • Reply
    March 21, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    My dear Abubele you spoke my mind, my second trip to Lagos was purely for fun as i enjoyed my leave in 2013 there, i had fun visiting places like Terrakulture, Bogobiri, Elegushi beach, Nike’s Art Gallery nice hangout places, but the T-fares were out of this world. In February this year i was there for a course, for 3 weeks and i had to live the Lagos life, which was not fun, cos i did the early morning island to mainland mad traffic and stress and no time to jollificate, wink. Abeg i prefer my not so quiet PH even though we don’t have recreational places, and rather go to Lagos strictly for fun and not to reside.

    • Reply
      March 22, 2017 at 4:41 pm

      Oh dear. I feel your pain. Those 3 weeks must have been crazy. I mean, the traffic is like the Armageddon. Love hearing from you, darling. Xo

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